How to Get That One Special Girl

The issue of nervousness and anxiety talking to a stunning woman is a big problem, I know, I've been there before, yet there is a solution, and amazingly it can be learned in just a few minutes.

The first thing you must realize is that the problem is not that you don't know what to say. I'm quite sure when you are with friends out and about you talk with them, you don't sit there all nervous thinking things like "oh do they like me? Am I being cool enough? What do I say?" You simply say what you want to say and do what you like, and this is the first key to finding the right words when talking to the girl you like.

You see, it's all up there in your mind, all those amazing stories, fun things you've done in your life, great things to talk about. You simply need to somehow get it out of your mind and verbalize those thoughts. To do this you need to do what is known as "thinking outside your head" or "being in state", it's where you stop thinking about anything at all and just start talking. When you live outside your head you start becoming less dependent on the result or outcome of what you said and you start being yourself.

The hard part is taking that first step, in fact it's the hardest part of all, for once you turn off that little internal voice that is constantly telling you things you really don't need to know, it's a nice downhill slide into what I like to call happy joy joy land, that place where you get this high just from the experience of just being around beautiful women and you start to feel almost euphoric. Yep you probably experienced it last you had a major crush on a girl, remember how it seemed like every time you locked eyes you had this tingly good feeling. Imagine that all over again with the volume turned to 11.

To get into this state you must first hear that voice inside your head. Next time you're talking to a girl do this: listen to yourself think, think about what you're thinking about and realize what you are doing. You will find you probably have a lot of negative self talk going on in there, and it is this self talk that is causing you to feel the nerves and anxiety you feel when talking to women. Once you can finely tune in on the emotions you are feeling and realize what your brain is saying to you (generally things like "don't screw up" or "don't say that, that's stupid") you are ready for the next step.

Ok this step is probably best done with girls other than the one you like, for you will screw up, but the screw up is not a bad thing, it's a learning process and you learn 100x from getting rejected by a girl than you do by not doing anything. The next step is to tune out all this negative self imaging and start saying ANYTHING that comes to mind, I don't care if you just thought your toenails need clipping, just say it out loud! The point is not to become cool instantly; the point is to start living outside of your head. When you start blurting out everything without a second thought you will notice your mind shifts from constantly thinking about everything and overanalyzing situations, to simply being in the moment and coming along for the ride, rather than controlling your actions. Only once you start living outside your mind can you start to become a cool guy who knows exactly what to say, if you are still thinking inside your head you will still have that bad self talk telling you not to say anything at all and you will get nowhere.

After you have gotten outside of your mind and started to experiment with just saying anything you can start the next step, Self Amusement. Simply look at the person you're talking to and start laughing, you don't even need anything funny to laugh about, just make yourself laugh at absolutely nothing. If they ask what it is, laugh harder and start to shake your head like you're saying no, at the same time telling them "Oh I can't do that, you'll stop doing it and I won't have my source of amusement for the day". This is the beginning of self amusement and once you have mastered the act of just making yourself laugh with anything you can instantly get in state at any time (more explained on this phenomenon later). Doing something in order to simply amuse yourself rather than others is extremely attractive to women and incredibly fun for you. The key here is to amuse YOURSELF, you are not trying to make her laugh you are simply having fun and poking fun at her. Keep practicing this self amusement with everyone you know, just doing silly things and laughing at them, if they don't laugh with you WHO CARES, it's more fun when you are having all the fun and pretty soon they will want to join in too.

Ok so now you think outside your head and can self amuse, what's next? We'll the next step is to put all this together and start doing it at the start of every conversation with a new girl you meet, even if you don't know them from a bar of soap. Crack up laughing and do silly things (pull faces, make fun of things they are doing/wearing, whatever), what this will do is get you *in state* and being in state is one of the most powerful things ever.

When you are in state you are on a sort of high where you feel invincible (kind of like being drunk) and when you get into this state because of the immense amount of positive happy energy you are giving off, you can almost do no wrong. Imagine it being like that fun drunk dude you always see at the bar/party that is going around high fiving people and having a blast, be that guy (using the above methods) and have an awesome time no matter where you are or what you're doing.

Once you can get into this state through self amusement and just having fun you will notice something magical, you start to realize that you can say just about anything and people will respond positively to it. It is at this point that you will realize that it really doesn't matter what you have to say, it's how you feel and how others feel about you at the time you say it. You can make the best joke in the world when you are not in state, being a normal everyday guy, and it may bomb, yet say a lame joke when you are in state and watch everyone crack up laughing. It's really cool when you first experience this because it's at this point that you finally start to realize you don't need fancy lines or pickup tactics to get women, all you need is to be yourself in a happy, excited, fun state, doing what you want to do and caring little about what others think about you. For when you think about it, everyone is too busy worrying about what others think about them to think about others, so do what you like and simply have fun.

Finally once you have started using this ability to get in a fun, enjoyable state easily, do it when you are around the girl you're interested in and you will notice her attraction spiking immensely. Every girl wants a fun, exciting guy to be with, be that man and the girl you desire will be all over you.To learn more,click here